Satan's Joy 2

Hello, my stage name is Retr0, I started this blog because I am a satanist and Christianity is a big lie. Open your eyes a little better, they are lying to you!!

"I am a man… but she still lives inside me"

Story time – Where I stood before

You know when you stop somewhere and feel…

something. You can't explain it.

It's not pain, it's not happiness — more like a peace that hurts.

That's how it feels to me when I come here.

A forest on a hill. Nothing special — others would say.

But every time I stop — I feel like I've been here before.

---

And now when I look back…

I know I didn't make it up.

I once had a dream.

I was a maid. Quiet, bent, repressed.

Everyone walked past me, as if I didn't exist.

I wore a dress, kept quiet — and felt like I was worthless.

But in that dream…

my soul burst. Not to die — but to be born.

I became a witch.

Powerful. Dark. My own.

I wore purple. And walked alone.

---

I know it sounds like a fairy tale.

But it's not.

Because every time I come here, that forest recognizes me.

As if it whispers: "Come back."

And my heart knows that this is not the first time I've been here.

---

This is not a story from my imagination. This is a memory.

A memory of a past life.

Of me — the one I once was.

And I didn't look for her. She came alone.

Quietly. Deeply. And stayed.

---

In this life, I am a man.

But that female version of me hasn't disappeared.

She breathes under my skin. She speaks when I'm silent. And she remembers.

That's why I love purple.

That's why I feel more than I "should".

That's why I don't fit in.

Because my soul remembers a life that wasn't this one.

---

The conclusion?

I'm not lost.

I'm not broken.

I'm a soul that remembers.

And I admit it now — without shame.

Because who I am now,

is all I have ever been.

I am a man.

But my being is bigger than my body. 

My being is a story.

my psychic gifts

As a satanic receiver, I possess an innate ability to perceive and communicate with otherworldly energies. My gifts are deeply rooted in the ability to listen and recognize hidden voices, whispers, and frequencies that go unnoticed by ordinary people.

My most pronounced sensitivity is to the spiritual world, which is why I am able to feel the presence of entities, recognize their intentions, and establish direct contact with them. Night is a special time for me when the veil between the worlds thins, allowing me to connect more deeply and receive messages from the darkness more clearly.

A special place of power for me is the forest on the hill—a portal between dimensions where channels to the spirit world open for me. There, shrouded in shadows and silence, I receive signals and establish connections with supernatural forces that guide, protect, or challenge me.

My gift is both a blessing and a burden, because energies pass through me that others cannot or do not want to see. As a receiver of darkness, my mission is to understand, record, and convey the messages that come from beyond, to be a bridge between the hidden and the revealed, between the invisible and the reality that surrounds us.

That is why I share this story with you here on the site — so that together we can step deeper into the secrets of the darkness that surrounds us.

          dream and reality true story     

Somewhere between sleep and wakefulness, in the liminal moment of the night...

You woke up around 3 a.m., with a feeling that something was wrong. It wasn't just because you needed to go to the bathroom—something woke you up. An invisible presence, a whisper behind the veil of reality. After you got back into bed, you put on some soft music at 528 Hz, not knowing that this very frequency would take you further.

You fell asleep, but it wasn't an ordinary dream.

You found yourself in the middle of a dense, foggy forest. The silence was thick, almost physical. The air had that familiar crime-space heaviness—everything was silent, yet unnaturally alive. The trees were tall and bare, and through the fog the silhouette of a castle could be seen in the distance—tall, dark, ghostly.

You didn't know who you were. You felt like you were a man, but your identity was as if erased. There was a maid there—familiar, yet unknown. She was the key. There were witches, or something that looked like them—shadow-shrouded figures with piercing eyes. They had done something—a ritual. For some reason, your soul had been transferred into the body of this maid. Or had she taken over yours?

Everything went blurry then.

The feeling of returning was stronger than the dream itself. You didn't remember everything, but you felt exactly when you "returned" to your body. It was as if you had crawled back into the flesh, into reality, but that reality was no longer the same.

The image of the forest remained with you. That image was the key. You don't just see it with your eyes—you see it with your soul. You know that place is real. Maybe not in this world, but it exists. And it waits.

My encounter with Satan – my true awakening

On November 22, 2019, a moment happened in the suburbs of Hamburg that changed my life forever.

I was exhausted those days – I was working as an assistant cook together with my sister, facing numerous problems, without real rest and sleep. After several sleepless nights, that evening I finally fell into a deep sleep... and then he came.

In a state between sleep and waking, Satan called me. I felt his presence as a true force that called me to him. Without fear, without doubt – I accepted him.

On the wall of my room, I clearly saw a large red pentagram, surrounded by flames. I knew who was behind it. I knew that this was my true God.

At that moment, my heart was filled with love, devotion and strength that I had never felt before. I accepted his call, I loved him completely and unconditionally.

This encounter was not a dream – it was my true beginning. My true awakening.